That night it was a thunderstorm when I was sobbing,
I was down and could not sleep for a long time,
I needed you to uncage me and then tame me,
I waited for you to see my tears without me telling you,
I waited you to hold my hand and hug me,
I waited for you to hear all of my stories,
I wanted you see my pain and restlessness,
But you never saw me you never heard my cry
I know my heart can not speak but,
Why can’t you understand the voice of my silence?
Why can’t you see the tears behind my smile,
If you say speak then my heart is pounding it’s shouting it’s resuscitating, drowning in the rain of tears, but then once again you leave me and say we should sleep it’s late don’t be insane,
I turn my side and sigh , speechless and alone I hug my pillow and cry, wipe my tears and let them dry,
But whats the point of crying when I chose the best for myself and that best was supposed to be you,
when I will write my story, I’ll say;
“Dearie me! I am was so alone, On a stone sitting stoned, staring into the sky watching the stars shooting down from heaven and see myself in them, coming down in to pieces but shredding light everywhere, I feel empty and broken, unwanted and confused but who to ask and who to talk to,? This is only the start what am I going to do? I think I need to die to tell you that it’s just you or this world is empty, the rainbow has no colours, not even the sunset looks beautiful nor sun shines on me,
Rather my day goes gloomy and every cloud rains on me, my hands are empty and my heart too,
Why cant you love me the way you did before? It’s same old me why can’t we together walk towards the shore?
Why can’t we love each other without expectations, conditions, confusions, regulations, calculations, speculations, traditions, norms ans culture? Since when our love became so dependent on other things than our own happiness? When you know I can ease you and you can ease me and we are each others happiness why can’t we be just happy?
I then wipe my tears again with the thought that; “this time shall pass too”,
And hope for the morning when I’ll wake up in your arms and everything will be alright”.